Chapter Thirteen: Problems

We all know that friend who is too controlling and overbearing. Anytime you want to do something, they take out their planner and pen and must know every detail. They are worse than your parents.
When are we going? How are we going? Okay, but who is driving? How many people can you fit in your car? How much is that going to cost? Have you asked your parents that, yet? Do your parents even know me? DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?
These people are everywhere; biting their nails, lashing out at the ones they love (or don't even know), or eating their stress away.
Well, surprise surprise, I'm one of them.

Me 3438385783% of the time.

If you are like me, you find yourself easily stressed out, especially when dealing with other people. And this has just come to my attention pretty recently. My family is always talking about how controlling and stubborn my sister is, but I never knew I was controlling too! 

The only reason I am blogging about....my problem....is because it has become extremely evident within the last month. I am a part of the Class of 2014 Officers (Vice President, to be exact) and our main job during our four years of high school is to plan the one event all seniors look forward to - prom. We've been planning and raising money all four years, but we haven't really gotten down to business to defeat the Huns until this year. Now, trust me, planning for prom is really fun, because we get to really create the prom we want, but, honestly, it is so stressful. At least for me. Keep in mind I am a control freak. 

Well, Prom is this Saturday (Woohoo!!), and we have been selling prom tickets since the last week of April. And, I don't mean to call any of my officers out, but only five of us really do most of the work. I'm sure our other officers have other obligations such as work, other school activities, etc. (Of course, then why did you sign u- oh never mind, it's almost the end anyway...) So, nearly everyday after school, my officers and I have stayed after school to sell prom tickets. I personally thought this was going to be pretty easy. Take the money, get their seat, give the ticket, DONE. 

But no.

It's never that easy. 

Selling prom tickets means dealing with all the angry, impatient students who want their tickets NOW.    

Impatience at its best.

Oh, you want me to kick some random kid off your table so your friend can sit there? NO.

Oh, you want to bring a date outside of our school district but you didn't turn in the paper that was, by the way, due three weeks ago? NO. 

Oh, you want me to reserve two entire tables for you and your friends? NO. 

Oh, you want to sit with your friend but you don't know their name or their table number? NO. 

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.

Seriously, these are real scenarios. I don't want to point anyone out, but, seriously?! These people are making me go nuts. I'm so excited for prom, but I really can't wait until it's over. 

Well, while five people are asking me what table their friend is sitting all at the same time, my kind friends are around me trying to help, but I just lash out at them and refuse their offers. It's not that I don't trust them or anything, I just feel like in order for me to be in complete and utter control, I have to do it. No one else. Just. Me. 

And this is a really bad habit of mine. 

For example, if I am assigned a group project with someone (especially a stranger) guess what? That person gets a free grade because I split the project so unevenly between us it's ridiculous.

It's not you. It's me. Working.

And it doesn't stop at school. This is at home, too. The control-freak inside tells my parents,

"Stop reminding me to do everything. I am going to live on my own soon and I need to figure out how to live my life!"

However, the super-dependent-puppy inside me says,

"Stop leaving everything to me! I can't do everything!" [insert uncontrollable sobbing here]

This huge internal conflict literally leaves my head spinning at night. And I don't just worry about personal things, oh no. I worry about everything. I literally will stay awake at night, thinking about all the things I don't, and never will have control over. 

What if our house gets burnt to the ground?

What if our house gets destroyed by a tornado?

What if Mom dies on the way home?

What if Dad dies on the way to the grocery store?

What if my friend decides to never talk to me again?

What if I'm robbed?

What if...

What if...

What if...

But, in times like these, I just have to stop.
Stop.
Breathe.
And tell myself, to
Just 

Have 

Faith.