Chapter One-Hundred-and-Thirty-Four: When It's Not My Plan

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

Jeremiah 29:11

They say there are two main types of people in the world: Type A's and Type B's. Type A's, according to Simply Psychology, are described as competitive, ambitious, impatient, aggressive, and fast-talking. Oh, and they are also plan-oriented. Ring any bells?

Like any "identified" personality, the shoe doesn't always fit perfectly. I possess many traits of both Type A and Type B (which is actually pretty normal), but one thing that I do identify with is the necessity to have a plan. For anyone who knows me, I CAN operate without a plan, but my stress levels are pretty insane. I am much more comfortable with color-coded, highlighted, and precise itineraries.

A sample of my planner for you

However, this past week reminded me that the best planner of all isn't me, but is God! 

Let me back up: A few weeks ago, one of my guinea pigs was pretty severely injured.

When I came home from my San Antonio trip with my UIL students, Tod's eye was all kinds of messed up. I won't post a picture because it was pretty gross, but needless to say, I was freaking out! The very next day I whisked him over to the vet, who gave me some pretty hard news. 

Turns out, his eye had ruptured and needed to be removed. I was shocked but ready to dive into this life-changing experience for him. So I prepped him the best way I knew how... lots of treats and positive thoughts! 

I also prayed. And my friends prayed. And my family prayed. My guinea pigs certainly take up a large portion of my heart, so this trauma was hard for both of us. On April 26, I dropped Tod off at the vet for his enucleation. He stayed at the vet for a few days before I picked him up. He was certainly different. Pink stitches were laced where his right eye used to be. It was sad for me, but certainly a relief that he wasn't in pain anymore and was on the road to recovery. 

Well, time passed and post-op was a roller coaster. Some days were great and some days were... not great. In the last week, everything wasn't looking great at all. After many calls to the vet and check-ups, it was time for the stitches to come out. The night before I took him for the routine procedure, his stitches opened early and showed signs of intense infection. I was heart broken. He had lost weight in recovery, and I knew he couldn't hold on much longer, despite all the effort put forth by both me and the vet. 

On Thursday morning I dropped him off to be looked at by the vet. 

Thursday night, he was fine after being examined and treated.

But on Friday morning, I got the call that he didn't make it through the night. 

Now, this was on May 11, my last student teaching day. At this point I was already at school, getting ready for the day when the vet called me to give me the news. Of course, I was upset and in tears... but I had a full day to teach and be with my students. I prayed to God and just said "Help".

Moments later, my mentor teacher walks in. She hands me a large crate FULL of gifts and first-year-teacher treasures. "All for you," she says with a smile. 

Books, pens, chalkboard, supplies, (and so much more) and a sweet note from her heart to mine. I was at a loss for words, but oh so thankful. She, of course, didn't know about the phone call I had just received, and yet here she was, already turning my day around. 

Then the UIL students began to stream in. I promised them a small treat on the morning of my last day. We ate donuts and chatted and just hung out. Then, we surprised my mentor teacher with a bouquet of love from them: notes of "thanks". 

She was so happy, and so were the kids! It was perfect timing, too, as this week was also Teacher Appreciation Week.

She then turns around and opens up a drawer for me to see. "The kids wrote some for you, too." She pulls out letter after letter, drawing after drawing. Pieces of construction paper with hearts and "We will miss you"s in messy handwriting. 

I read through all of their sweet notes and goodbyes and could only feel one thing: love. What a rewarding time, to see all of the hard-work, relationship building, difficult and amazing days all strewn together for me. My heart was full of love and gratitude from 11-14 year-olds. 

And that was how my entire day felt. In every class, I gave the students a personal note from me, read them a goodbye letter, and had each child write their name on a rock to go in a jar. 

"In that jar," I told them, "I am going to have all of your names. And then I am going to grow a plant in there, because no matter how far apart we are, we will always grow, together." 

I had kept my composure in all of my classes pretty well. And then it was 8th period. Now these kids have been my students, my experiment, for the entire year. My teacher let me take the reigns with them. They were essentially mine. 

I gave them their notes, their rocks, and gave the whole speech. And I looked at them and they looked at me and I just became so grateful. Grateful for their desire to learn, grateful for their acceptance of me, and grateful for just them. Before we knew it, almost everyone in the room was in tears. We were sad but so thankful for such wonderful memories we made together. 

They don't really have emoji faces - just need them for identity safety!

At the end of the day, my arms were full of letters and my heart was full of love. And I truly believe Friday was all orchestrated by the best planner of all - God. 

While I was sad about Tod's passing, He planned it for Friday because He provided so much love to me through the students and co-workers that surround me every day. While this wasn't my plan, it is certainly evident that in God's plan He wants me to prosper and have hope. 

I am so thankful for my time spent at my middle school! It is exciting to see what else God has planned for me in my future as a middle school science teacher. In the meantime, I am giving thanks and awaiting graduation in just a few short days. 

As always, thank you for reading! I pray we continue to trust in Jesus in all areas of our life. 

I'll write you soon!