Chapter Twenty-Six: Anxieties

Raise your hand if you worry about things you shouldn't worry about.

Meeeeeeeeeeeee

Well, you're not alone. I do it, your sibling does it, your mom does it....we all do it. We all worry (especially your mother). A little bit of anxiety is okay because sometimes it motivates us, but I, along with many others, commonly slip too deep into the pool of worry. 

I've been doing this recently, for a number of reasons. Some things were in my control (postponing writing thank you notes...sorry dear friends and family!), and some things I simply can't do a whole lot about right at this moment. 

I am eighteen years old, but, honestly, I don't care what the law says I am...I am still a kid. And it's scary to grow up all of a sudden. In less than two months I will be living far away in a new, different place with new, different people, learning new and different things and this is one of the scariest things I have ever done. I know I can handle it, but that doesn't take away my feelings of anxiety. 

Me thinking about adulthood

This weekend I will be attending orientation, which is a fun, exciting event at my school where I learn about my school, meet new people, and, best of all, make up my schedule. Luckily, the first two years of school are mainly courses everyone has to take, no matter what major. But this still leaves the looming question over my head: What do I want to be when I grow up?

Now, if you know me at all, you know I've been stuck on Pharmacy for a good year now. But it wasn't always like this. When I was small I wanted to be a Veterinarian. Then I got older and wanted to be a Journalist. A couple years passed and I wanted to do Biology. And then, my junior year, I settled on Pharmacy. I studied this profession for a solid year, I even got a mentor. I discovered so much and I convinced myself that this was the one.  

But, of course, now I'm having doubts. 

After learning about just how competitive Pharmacy school is, I decided I needed a back up plan. 

Plan B: If I don't make Pharmacy school after two years of pre-requisites, then I'll go ahead and get a BS in Chemistry. Then I can apply with a bachelors, which makes me a much more worthy candidate for Pharmacy school. If that doesn't work, I have my bachelors to fall back on...

And then, a couple weeks ago, I took Mom to the eye doctor...just a routine check up. And, like all parents, she talked to the Optometrist about me and my plans to become a Pharmacist. The Optometrist then asked a couple of questions about me, one of them being if I was an introvert or an extrovert. Well....

Meeeeeeeee

So the Optometrist said that the paths to Pharmacy school and Optometry school and both pretty similar...but if I truly am a social butterfly, the Optometrist suggested to instead do Optometry. Because, as she said, "How often do you talk to your Pharmacist?" 

And, surprisingly, I find this very true. Of course Pharmacists will talk to their patients if they ask questions or need assistance, but, usually, Pharmacists keep to themselves, in contrast to Optometrists, who are literally in their patients' faces all the time. So, lately, I've been asking myself...Who am I? 

I'm not getting too tied up in my worries (hopefully) mostly because I can't really wake up and know what is best for me. The best remedy for this kind of worry is an education, time, and lots and lots of prayer. 

 A lot of my friends are younger than me, and are about to go through their senior year in high school. My advice to you is this: If you do not know what you want to do, that is okay. Honestly. It's okay. College is set up so that you are taking a lot of classes your freshman/sophomore year that any degree plan would need. So if you change your mind within the first two years, it's totally okay. AND NORMAL. But, I do suggest you come to college with an idea of what you want. Do you like Biology? Language? Calculus? Have an idea of what you love and branch off of that. Because what really matters about your future career is that you love it. 

Thanks for reading! I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. :)